Resurfacing

I stopped writing recently because everytime I tried I lacked the words to capture my experience. What could I say? 2 months in the hospital, 4 small but significant procedures (chest tube, gtube, 2 denver drains) within a month. It is all just too much mentally and physically. Fighting this disease just keeps getting more difficult. 

I returned home 2 days ago. It has been nice to be at home with the person I love. It hasn’t been an easy transition. I lack the strength and energy to do all that I need to do to care for myself. I am so fortunate that Cory is a selfless angel. 

My first day home was awful. I couldn’t sleep, pain, nausea, vomiting at least every hour even with a gtube. I felt like I was at the end of my rope and nothing would ever be the same. Thank goodness for the emotional cheerleading I desperately needed from my family and Cory. I was in better head space today and felt able to do a lot more.

I don’t know what is next aside from a lot of visiting nurse appointments. But please know I’m home and safe.

May I get through the next day, hour, minute.

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28 thoughts on “Resurfacing

  1. Jess, so glad you’re home, at last. Your honest post reminds me that it’s all too easy to to say “everything’s fine”, and minimize the reality. Your sharing of your experiences these past two months in the hospital remind me of your grit and uwaivering determination to reclaim your life. Love and hugs, my dear, Jess. Continuing prayers and sending positive eneregy to move you forward in your recovery. πŸ˜˜πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

    • Love you Jess!! Thinking of you everyday and how real and painful these struggles are. You are the strongest woman I know and Cory and your family are an amazing support. Don’t be afraid to lean on them right now. I’m so glad you share these struggles. It’s a true inspiration to me struggling with my own illness. Thank you for having the courage to tell your story.

  2. Prayers for you to continually get through though this difficult time and feel some relief. I’m happy you have your loves with you. Love and light to you for continued strength. Be surrounded with all the love you need.

  3. I’m so glad you shared with all of us. You are in my thoughts and your strength is amazing. (My auto correct wanted to change amazing to absinthe and that might also be good right now). 😘

    XO
    Laura

  4. Hi..you are awesome
    ..so much strength…I had to have major intestinal surgery okay..my intestine perferated so quick surgery and had colostomy emmm bag….got sort of used to it after a month. Then told after 4 months you can have a reversal???

    At that point I was so tired of Doctors that I said how about I just skip it and just have a colostomy bag for life.

    My fantastic Doctor said why you have an opportunity to move forward.

    So yes we want to stop but must move forward.

    Praying for you.

    The surgery was successful but not without major stress.

  5. You’re in our constant thoughts, so thank you very much for letting us all know that you’re home, surrounded by the tender loving care that you so deserve. I’m so sorry that things are rough right now. We’re sending bucket loads of positive thoughts your way, and some hugs, too❣

  6. Jess praying that the future days keep getting better. You have been thru more than most can endure. Your spirit is inspirational and you deserve so much happiness. I feel so fortunate to have met you, even though our connection is not one to be envied, I feel fortunate to have met you.

  7. Thank you for sharing, Jess. Thinking of you often. Dave and I are headed to Aruba this week for belated honeymoon!! I’m working on a plan to teleport some rays of sunshine your way. ❀

  8. Hoping the love environment in your home will make this transition a good outcome.
    Always thinking of you, Cory and your great parents.😍😍😍😍

  9. You amazing amazing human. Every day is progress and you’re doing it step by step, earning back your life. Don’t doubt for a second that you’re stronger than all of this. Getting home is a victory and every day you spend there is another victory. Keep making steps and before you know it you’ll be sprinting around again πŸ™‚ we all love you

  10. So glad you are home! It makes such a difference! You are so courageous and strong, and again, thank you so much for taking the time to post this! I think of you always and send good energy your way! Love you, Jess!!!❀️❀️❀️

  11. Sending you my LOVE and Prayers. Your Mom dad and Corey are all Angels and i will include all the doctors and nurses who are there for you. Your and amazing woman and a true Capricorn. I pray for you daily and i will continue to do so. Stay as strong and positive as you can. LOVE Tim

  12. So glad to hear your in a happier place snuggling up with the peeps you love. But rest and listen to your body, and remember what we talked about you positioning? Look I’m even nursing you at home hehe😍

  13. Your struggle with the physical aspects and the emotional roller-coaster of the cancer battle is one of courage and perseverance. I wish you healing, continued strength and blessings for all you need.

  14. Much love Jesse — Angels from within — Angels from above —- Angels surround you —- Loving thoughts – so happy you are home —- Continued strength on your recovery — much love filled with all good thoughts and with prayer —

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