I stopped writing recently because everytime I tried I lacked the words to capture my experience. What could I say? 2 months in the hospital, 4 small but significant procedures (chest tube, gtube, 2 denver drains) within a month. It is all just too much mentally and physically. Fighting this disease just keeps getting more difficult.
I returned home 2 days ago. It has been nice to be at home with the person I love. It hasn’t been an easy transition. I lack the strength and energy to do all that I need to do to care for myself. I am so fortunate that Cory is a selfless angel.
My first day home was awful. I couldn’t sleep, pain, nausea, vomiting at least every hour even with a gtube. I felt like I was at the end of my rope and nothing would ever be the same. Thank goodness for the emotional cheerleading I desperately needed from my family and Cory. I was in better head space today and felt able to do a lot more.
I don’t know what is next aside from a lot of visiting nurse appointments. But please know I’m home and safe.
May I get through the next day, hour, minute.