How will Santa know where to find me?

My one medical update is that I FINALLY was granted the procedure to have a g-tube placed. This is a tube that goes through my stomach that attaches to a small pouch. If I feel as if I am obstructed instead of having to go to the ER and spend months in the hospital on bowel rest, all I need to do is excuse myself and empty my pouch. I will not have to rely so much on uncooperative intestines.

I’m in a lot of pain but have a small pain button that administers IV meds continuously at a very low dose. Every ten minutes it can push a larger dose by patient request (by pressing button). It is also controlled in such a way that patients cannot overdose. No worries, friends! No accidental OD’s here.

So as much as I didn’t want a g-tube this summer, I know that this is necessary and dare I say it-


I think I’m glad I got one…



So I thought good and hard about what I wanted to share with you.There are the miserable weeks upon weeks of pain, uncertainty, fear, blood, procedures, guilt, what feels unfair.  I could tell you about how part of me is ready to escape these walls and seek the comfort of Cory and my little house in our little town on our little street.


So instead I’m going to share with you how spending EVERY holiday in the hospital didn’t totally suck. I’m not saying that there aren’t better ways to spend your holidays but it’s not all doom and gloom when you’re surrounded by the right people.




The nurses decorated my room, hung a stocking, and left two unopened gifts. It turned out to be a fuzzy robe and slippers paying it forward from a previous patient. So nice! The last perfect touch was Maggy’s poinsiettta.

I was truly disappointed not to have “our firsts” together in the new house like our first christmas tree or our first cookie decorating(eating til’ we puke) night. More than anything I was looking forward to watching Christmas Vacation together per our tradition. That said, it will make next year’s Christmas list.


New Years 2017


I expecting a low key night with my handsome fella and Stacey  but I was double surprised when  my other wolf pup sista, Michelle, walked through the door! It was the best surprise. I am sad that I don’t have a pic of all of us and that I felt so crummy around 10:30 forcing myself to bed early. Then again 2016 kinda sucked so I suppose it was fine to bow out of the old year early. Cory, Michelle and Stacey could have been anywhere else with anyone else having a much more exciting night (or at least experienced better people watching. Thanks love buckets 🙂

The next day I experienced some more home town lovin’ from my girl Jaclyn in the afternoon. She hauled her law school hehind down from Boston to check in. Thanks to school her life these days is very often not her own so I was appreciative that homegirl could come.


Last but not least,

My 29th Birthday

Before I go into any detail about my actual birthday I must remind those that have infrequent encounters with nurses. These are not just the people that take blood pressure and take your temperature. Nurses are the special breed of super-human, caffeine-driven, part-scientist, part-mathematician, part-mind reader, part-social worker, part -cheerleader, part ass-kicker, will not take no for an answer cherry on top of your day advocate. If anything they are just like you and me but profoundly better in every way.

So it should be no surprise that with my luck, my birthday fell on a day that I’m STILL living in the hospital. I mean, that’s bad enough but I’m also still NPO which means I cannot eat or drink anything besides an occasional ice chip (edit: as of this evening I can have liquids). Emily found a solution for that 😉


This is how it went down from the real beginning:

12:01am: Entire 3rd shift nursing staff enters my room to sing the Happy Birthday Song (I’m already full of happy tears)

Throughout the next day there seemed to be a never ending supply of gifts and flowers and love! My day nurse luckily only had me at the time and treated me to a gorgeous manicure.



Even the residents doing their oncology rotation remembered and put together a little hand made card.


My parents were here! Just when I though this day couldn’t get any better…



Oh an Alicia jumped out of a “cake” clothed for the sake of  HR and all that fun stuff haha…






I think this final picture of the gift from the 4th fool holds strongest meaning to me. If you sent me something beautiful that did not make it onto the blog this time please know that I am truly appreciative of your love and know that you are with me in spirit.


That’s all I have for you for now.

-NG tube is OUT WOO!

-G tube is IN

-I can now drink  clear and full liquids 🙂

Thanks again for keeping my chin and spirits up over the past weeks. I have never felt alone.


12 thoughts on “How will Santa know where to find me?

  1. Ah that’s our girl ~ this was a very upbeat post and I still don’t know how you do it but hearing you sound so appreciative and full of the love that surrounds you just made my day. Cheering you on from a distance!!! Happy for any levity you feel in your days. Love and Light ~ always. xoxo

  2. Hope this New Year brings you to better health. You are loved by all for the warm, sweet, loving woman that your mama raised!! Love you, pray for you and your always on my mind Jessica. Oh and sorry Ted are all the Hershey kisses!

  3. Jess, I am so glad you had such a happy birthday! Thank you for this blog – we are able to go through this with you because of it. I know what you mean about nurses – their lives become part of who you are! When their kids ge sick – you care! I remember, and still go back to Boston to see them once in a while! Keep healing, Jess! I am always thinking about you!!!!!!

  4. So amazing is your spirit through all these past couple of months being in the hospital during so many holidays and your birthday too. You are a shining star with your great fortitude in enduring all that you go through with so much appreciation. So happy you had such a fun birthday, great to see you smiling.

  5. May Jesus lay his hand on your body and heal you to a complete recovery! Keep your upbeat attitude. You are an inspiration! Happy you had a great birthday, and holidays. Thanks for sharing! God bless!

  6. So grateful to everyone for making our daughters birthday so much brighter… and for the skilled , loving and caring people at Women and Infants Hospital. We will love you and remember you always!

  7. Happy Birthday Jessie. I am so proud you made the best of all you have been through. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. I pray this year brings better things your way. You sure deserve them. Love Tim

  8. such a moving daily/story post. I started to weep at the cake!..and then each ‘present’ afterwards.
    In the midst of the hard times- peace and courage to you , Jess. Thank you for the updates and your
    good perspective on life in the midst of hardship…your care and inspiration is so appreciated…
    all the smiles confirm the circle of love you help to create.
    Continued healing wishes,

  9. Happy Birthday and love love love ❤️ to you!

    So glad that g-tube will give you some relief. You’ll be back home in your sweet love den soon!

  10. Yay! Happy G Tube! Merry Christmas! Happy Birthday! Happy New Year! All at once things are looking up. Great to hear you feel a little better and can expect to feel even better.

    • Warrior, Jess! Glad you are able to empty your personal pouch and hopefully, your pain button relieves your severe pain. Thank you for your, “2017” purple celebration picture! Happy 29th healthier birthday year!

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