“Are you tired? Rundown? Listless? Do you poop out at parties?”

Homegirl needs some Vitameatavegamin. Vitameatvegamin

I’m running on fumes here. I had an oddly energetic day on Monday but other than that I am pretty beat.

Seriously, I don’t know if the fatigue is caused by the trial or because your late 20’s equates to traveling at warp speed into full-on chronic exhaustion. If I feel this crappy now, I am doomed when I start pushing 90.

Work as of late has been demanding (as I anticipated). This time of year brings in a high volume of students which means little down time, some late nights, and the constant feeling that you are forgetting something… DAMNIT what am I forgetting?! Luckily we have a really great staff that collectively does an excellent job during this high-stress time of year. This busy period lasts from about early October to late November. Come December 5th-ish I think I’ll finally be able to breathe.

In the interest of self-care I have been making it a point to take a full lunch hour as often as possible or at the very least close the door to my office during lunch and quietly answer some emails. At minimum I make myself take 30 minutes to clear my head. On my worst days I have even sprawled out under my desk with the lights off. You do what you have to do, right?

I sent myself home from work last Thursday on a morning that followed the pattern of : student, vomit, student, vomit, etc.  I can be a little stubborn when it comes to going home sick. Perhaps it’s the “Santoro girl” in me or the self-imposed guilt but I rarely send myself home. This time I knew that a fully booked afternoon of student appointments would not be productive, fair to my students, and certainly not fair to me ailing body. The afternoon in bed did me well and I was back to work the next day.

As I have reported previously the side effects of the chemo trial have curtailed a bit:

  • My stomach still isn’t right but with some powerful medication I can keep it under control more often than not.
  • Nausea/vomiting still happens but not as often
  • My face, chest, and back is no longer covered in a rash and pimples (THANK THE LAWWWWD)
  • Appetite has improved but I’m still rarely in the mood to stuff my face. Somehow that does not stop me from housing slices from Pizzeria Gusto on the late night (I have a problem).
  • Swelling of the legs is still an issue. My feet and ankles are constantly swollen. Sometimes I cannot fit my feet into certain shoes. I flipped over my recycling bin at work to elevate the more swollen foot but it doesn’t help too much. I just try to elevate as much as possible when I get home.

Since I only go to the doctor every other month now this is what you can look forward to in November:

November 12th, 7am CT Scan (Please join me in thinking positively that my tumors are continuing to shrink. Stable is fine but a decrease in tumor mass would be just lovely)

-November 18th, full day in Boston. Battery of eye exams, echocardiogram, pre-dose and post-dose EKG, bloodwork, and review of my CT scan.

November 23rd, my TWO year anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer. Well, time flies when you’re crushing a chronic disease huh? I have a lot of mixed emotions this time around so you can certainly expect a “year in review”

I hope everyone is having a great week! Stay tuned…

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5 thoughts on ““Are you tired? Rundown? Listless? Do you poop out at parties?”

  1. Thank you for the update! I send good thoughts to you on the daily. I expect another post by November 13! It’s on my calendar!

      • Jess-sorry you’re having that lull in
        energy -among many other undesirables-but I can bet you still have more drive than the average person!
        If makes you feel a little better I ‘m share that overwhelming feeling at work . That’s all I got plus lots of love and prayers for a better week ! Hang in there -one moment and one day at a time -💚💙👍

  2. Jess, I don’t know how you do it, but I know that you don’t really have much choice! I am sending healing light and energy your way, and think of you every day!

  3. Jess, I look forward to your updates and am always SOOO impressed by your energy, enthusiasm,and positive attitude. Keep it up! You’ve got this! Sending good thoughts your way!

    Gail

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