Twas the Night Before Chemo: Take 2

After much anticipation and a few trips back and forth to Boston tomorrow is the ACTUAL day that I will start my chemo trial. The format of the day, as explained to me, should be pretty painless (if you don’t count the needle accessing my chest port).

Arrive at 10am –> vitals & blood draw –> meet Dr. Birrer at 11am –> Take first dose of the study drug –> wait an hour –> EKG –> Home.  Hopefully it will not be much more complicated than that. I can handle that.

It is interesting to think about where I was on December 30, 2012. The night before I started chemo for the first time. I was a ball of nerves, sleepless, emotional, and hopped up on steroids. I imagined that my hair would fall out immediately and that the drugs would tear my flesh apart like an acid burn as it coursed through my veins. I had many expectations and fears that did not come to be. On the flip side I encountered side effects that I did not necessarily expect. Chemotherapy is such a mixed bag.

This time around I am going into the trial with an open mind. I am turning down the volume on the apprehension and anxiety that initially hit me when posed with this opportunity.  I am deliberately using the word opportunity because I have come to accept that this is a gift. I am  being offered the chance to try something completely new that has the potential to revolutionize how women with Ovarian Cancer are treated.

Today, I am okay and quite thankful for it.