I saw Dr. Robison on Monday (thank you to Katie for joining me for moral support at 7:30am!). She elaborated a bit about what they saw on the CT scan. There is what she described as “studding” meaning small nodules of disease on parts of the abdominal living, liver, and lining of one of my lungs. Due to the location of the measurable disease, surgery is not an option. It is not safe therefore, inoperable. That officially qualifies me for a trial chemo offered through Mass General with Dr. Dizon (my adorable, ascot-wearing, ray of sunshine). We will try the trial first and if it does not work we will rely on some other options such as Avastin (an infusion) or go back to traditional chemotherapy. I do not know what the trial involves, how often I will have to go to Boston, or what the side effects are. I will learn all about that on Friday. My homegirl Sarah kindly volunteered to take the day off on Friday to be by my side for this appointment (though secretly I think she just wanted to witness the adorableness that is Dr. Dizon and his festive fashion). Over the weekend I will be sure to update you on what I know regarding this chemotherapy.

Upon receiving this news I was initially rattled by the word “inoperable”. It just sounds so grim when you hear it out loud. Luckily the measurable disease, though in more than one area of my body is small and slow growing so those are two facts in my favor. I am choosing to take this as a sign from the universe that we are not turning to surgery because physically, I am tired. I’m still recovering from the last one. This is the universe cutting me a break. Thanks universe? (You mysterious bastard).

Thank you for the continued support and love. I need every ounce of your positivity.