Dear Carboplatin,

It’s not you, it’s me. Actually it’s mostly you at this point. I mean, you’re a great chemo and all- don’t get me wrong. You don’t make me that sick. You only come around every three weeks so you’re not clingy. We’ve had some really mediocre times together. But alas we need to break up. We should see other chemo. I wish you the best but…

Love always,

Your Platinum Reactive Ex

Ok glad we got that out of the way. I hope Carbo didn’t take the breakup too hard.

Yesterday I was treated in the main hospital oncology floor with the scheduled Taxol/Carboplatin desensitization chemo. Due to the allergic reaction that I had to Carbo a few weeks ago, we had decided to try it again under careful supervision and a painfully slow drip. All in all I was there for about nine hours.

To be honest I had slight reservations about being treated on the 4th floor of the main hospital. Inpatient oncology is where I essentially lived for most of the summer and my memories are not the most pleasant. I didn’t know if it would trigger me emotionally but luckily I did just fine. I’m guessing I was okay because I have positive connections with the nurses that I would be seeing. That went a long way. I mean, if anyone from WIH is reading this and knows Alicia, say no more. You can’t possibly frown with her around. She’s a damn good nurse, keeps it 100% with everyone, has a mouth like a truck driver, and a sense of humor to match. She wasn’t assigned to me but came by throughout the day to check in which I was grateful for.

I was happy to see that Lil’ Kim was assigned to me for the day. I knew immediately that I would be in good hands.

So this is how a de-sense works…

Based on some crazy math formula that I made Kim explain to me in detail, that I now do not remember in the least, they figure out the quantity and rate of Carbo to administer over the course of six hours. It has something to do with your weight and I think the number 140 was in there somewhere….carry the 2? I don’t know. The extent of my math at work is making sure I can add up 122 credits and calculate GPA when needed. I’ll leave this one to the experts. In any case, how the chemo is administered is incredibly strategic as to slowly introduce the drug to your body in hopes that the smaller amounts at reduced rates will prevent a reaction. They also take your vital signs every 15 minutes.

Unfortunately going into my LAST bag of Carbo I reacted. Same as last time. I felt a little warm but other than that I felt fine. I turned blotchy and red all over my face, neck, chest, back, arms and hands.

This first picture^ was when I decided to see what I actually looked like because I didn’t know last time. It’s not the clearest of pictures but I’m pretty red (except for my cheeks for some reason? Reverse blush?)

Per protocol they immediately stopped the chemo, pushed Benadryl and gave me more steroids. This reversed the reaction and eventually I was back to my normal pasty-pale self.

I am fortunate that the reaction wasn’t terribly severe. Although,when they pushed the Benadryl I had a strange tickle in the back of my throat and momentary trouble breathing. It resolved itself within a minute or so but was a bit scary at the time. I don’t think this had to do with Carbo at all because it happened almost instantly when the Benadryl was pushed it. I’m guessing it was a response to how quickly the Benadryl entered my system.

Sheila got in contact with Dr. Robison and it was begrudgingly decided that we needed to be done with Carbo. I have heard the term “platinum resistant” before so I asked Betsy if that is what I was now due to this reaction. She kindly explained the following terminology to me that cleared things up:

Platinum Resistant = When the cancer is no longer responsive to platinum based chemo (such as Carbo).

Platinum Reactive =When the cancer IS responsive to platinum based chemo but your body rejects it. Hence, allergic reaction.

So I would fall into the latter category. It’s not that the chemo isn’t working, it’s just that my body is giving it a hard NO. We need to listen to what my body is telling me and move on to something different.

As of this moment I am not sure what the next steps are or how soon we will know what the next treatment plan will be. I’m guessing within the next 2-3 weeks we will have a better idea. I’ve been experiencing some shortness of breath lately so we have a chest x-ray planned for next week. I’m unsure if Dr. Robison will want a CT scan but again, we will know more soon.

So, despite having a long and disappointing day it ended on a side-splittingly hilarious note because Cory, Sheila, and I went to see the comedian Tig Notaro in Providence at the Columbus theatre. She had us laughing so hard the entire time- I was in tears. It was just what I needed.

If you ever have the chance to catch her stand up, please do. Also- she’s a cancer survivor and her book is amazing so check that out as well if feel so inclined.

That’s all I have for now, but I’ll keep you posted as details about a new treatment plan unfold.