Season’s Greetings my friends! I hope everyone in enjoying Hanukkah, about to enjoy Christmas, and having a general period of relaxation (or frantic last minute shopping…slackers).

I am pleased to say that despite the holiday season hustle and bustle, December has carried a slower pace. The semester has finished therefore my advisees have taken their finals and left school until the end of January. Grades are starting to trickle in so I cannot quite do all of my reports just yet. That being said work has momentarily slowed down…for now.

Between the trial and trying to keep up with life’s demands, responsibilities, and general fun I’m feeling pretty run down again. There is very little respite from the chemo and what goes along with it.

In an average week:

• I will wake up 5-6 nights with acid reflux (many of those nights waking up because I’m choking on it)
• I will have “stomach unpleasantness” (catch my drift?) 2-3 days per week with multiple episodes
• 7 days per week my feet and ankles are so swollen that only certain shoes will fit. Forget about slippers with socks! One or the other. Fat feet will not allow it.
• 7 days per week, fatigue. But who isn’t exhausted? You don’t need to be on chemo to feel that one.
• 4-5 days per week, nausea.
• 2-3 days per week, vomiting as a result of nausea.

Taking that into consideration, wanting to choke down these pills twice per day is to say the least a chore. Comparison: You went to a restaurant and got food poisoning then ate the leftovers the next day knowing full well that you would still have food poisoning. Not fun. Don’t like it. Don’t want it.

On the flip side, the treatment is working as far as we know from November’s scan. I know that I have previously stated that I am coming to terms with the fact that this is a slow process and I need to roll with it on the road to healing blah blah blah… but when I’m in a chemo slump I get cranky.

I would love a break for a few days. I am not entirely convinced that my side effects are severe enough (believe it or not) to warrant another chemo-cation but it is worth inquiring. My next CT scan is in 2 weeks and the next check up in Boston is in 3 weeks. If I see some more progress perhaps that will give me a little boost even if I can’t get a chemo-cation.

Universe, give me strength (mostly not to throw that goddamn palm pilot against the wall the next time its alarm sounds for my next dose).

Despite feeling run ragged, I can always count on my family to lift my spirits. Luckily, this past week was Hanukkah and I was able to take two days off of work to spend some quality time with my family back home in CT. Even better was that my brother Adam was able to fly in from California to join us this year. There are few people on this earth that can make me laugh harder than Adam so I knew the trip would be good for the soul.

Great food was had (Thanks everyone who brought something delicious to the Hanukkah party!), dreidel was played (I won me some laundry money!), and many laughs were shared.

Cory received a “man crate” from Adam and Mom is here ^ clearly nailing this selfie.

I started making candy dreidels for Hanukkah when I was 5…nearly 22 years later there is no end in sight.

Cory, Adam, Uncle Mark, Phyllis, Tammy, and Aunt Sheila just shooting the shit. Fun fact, minutes later we started spinning dreidels and in an attempt to wow us with his amazing spin, Adam’s somehow bounced into the candle splashing wax everywhere and basically ruined Hanukkah for everyone, forever. (Kidding, love you brother)

The kids table will forever be the kids table, even when we someday have kids.

Cory survived the meeting of the big brother (and family) and I would say he passed the family approval test with flying colors. In fact, Adam and Cory got along a little too well. As a fun little way to bring us together I bought a few nerf guns thinking Adam, Cory and I could do some target practice in the basement. Within minutes of opening the box I quickly realized that an alliance was formed and I was the target. I suppose I had that coming. Anyone that knows Adam also knows that he wouldn’t resist the opportunity to shoot a sticky dart at my glasses. Sooo…that was fun. But on a serious note it was great to see everyone come together so naturally.

Even though this entry was full of complaints, it is clear that it is also full of a hell of a lot of joy. I am so thankful and grateful for my generous, loving, crazy family.

I hope everyone enjoys their holiday season and has a safe, happy, wonderful time with loved ones!